Re: Women Farding in Cars is More Dangerous Than Cell Phone UseGo to Top
But women DO fart.
Tell this to your wife:
I ride mountain bikes with a pretty fast group.
This woman, in mid to late 30's and good looking and intelligent, started showing up. All the guys stopped, well, being guys and farting and burping for a couple of weeks.
After a ride last week, we were all hanging out and she just lifts a cheek and let's it rip...LOUD! I'm talking so loud it sounded fake LOUD! Didn't even phaze her...all us guys were kind of dumb founded and silent...I looked at her and said," I wish I could do that! Would you marry me?"
She said," Poop is funny"...that's a reference from "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"
I think all us guys will be back to burping and farting this week.
Last edited by the mayor : 04-20-2009 at 04:05 PM.
Re: Women Farding in Cars is More Dangerous Than Cell Phone UseGo to Top
[COLOR=maroon]Union Rules & Hookers
A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels. When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, 'Is this a union house?'
'No,' she replied, 'I'm sorry it isn't.'
'Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?'
'The house gets $80 and the girls get $20,' she answered.
Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop. His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, 'Why yes sir, this is a union house. 'We observe all union rules.'
The man asked, 'And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?' 'The girls get $80 and the house gets $20.'
'That's more like it!' the union man said.
He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed to a stunningly attractive green-eyed blonde.
'I'd like her,' he said.
'I'm sure you would, sir,' said the Madam. Then she gestured to a 92-year old woman in the corner, 'but Ethel here has 67 years seniority and according to union rules, she's next.'
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Re: Women Farding in Cars is More Dangerous Than Cell Phone UseGo to Top
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man. Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.
Probably wasn't the same elephant.
This is for everyone who sends me those heart-warming B.S. stories.
Women Farding in Cars is More Dangerous Than Cell Phone Use
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