Family brings corpse to insurance office to prove death

[rousemark]

I've been a Fjord man all my life. But I also like Cjhrysler products. Not a real fan of Cjhevy though.

As long as we're on the subject of Norway, why do the Norwegians put bar codes on their battleships?

So they can scandanavian.

Where is the Grrroooaaannn emoji?

 

[goillini52]

Where is the Grrroooaaannn emoji?

You have to use a combination.

 

[shonceman]

Where is the Grrroooaaannn emoji?

You have to use a combination.

Or you can use a gif:

 

[PA Bill]

I've been a Fjord man all my life. But I also like Cjhrysler products. Not a real fan of Cjhevy though.

As long as we're on the subject of Norway, why do the Norwegians put bar codes on their battleships?

So they can scandanavian.

You know, for a bad joke, that one's pretty good.[1

I've been a Fjord man all my life. But I also like Cjhrysler products. Not a real fan of Cjhevy though.

As long as we're on the subject of Norway, why do the Norwegians put bar codes on their battleships?

So they can scandanavian.

For a corny joke, this one's pretty good. I was thinking if I was from somewhere else, I would have heard it.
But then again, Philly was settled by Swedes. And there's still plenty around.

 

[vic120]

 

[adjusterjack]

You know, for a bad joke, that one's pretty good

I know. First time I heard it I laughed to hard I almost choked. It's one of those puns that I still laugh at every time I think about it.

I've got others. Here's one.

You've heard of Mr and Mrs Potato Head (who hasn't). What you might not know is that all their years of popularity made them incredibly wealthy. They became elite members of high society, running hedge funds, endowing charitable foundations, spending summers in the Hamptons, etc.

They have a daughter, a debutante named Sweet Potato, who recently announced to her parents that she wanted to marry Walter Cronkite.

The response was "You can't marry Walter Cronkite, he's just a commentator."

 

[shonceman]

I know. First time I heard it I laughed to hard I almost choked. It's one of those puns that I still laugh at every time I think about it.

I've got others. Here's one.

You've heard of Mr and Mrs Potato Head (who hasn't). What you might not know is that all their years of popularity made them incredibly wealthy. They became elite members of high society, running hedge funds, endowing charitable foundations, spending summers in the Hamptons, etc.

They have a daughter, a debutante named Sweet Potato, who recently announced to her parents that she wanted to marry Walter Cronkite.

The response was "You can't marry Walter Cronkite, he's just a commentator."

Dad joke.

 

[Kenneth82]

Forwarded this to the claims department at work....they were not amused.

Hahaha tell them to lighten up!

 

[Mike Siegal]

Adjustor; We don't believe he's dead. Death Cert means nothing to us. Prove it!
Benificiaries; Ok...but that may take a few days.
Adjustor; Why?
Benificiaries; He's Burried 6ft under
Adjustor; Bring um up...and then we'll pay your Life Insurace Claim. Otherwise you're SOL

TWO DAYS LATER

Adjustor; What's that Smell?
Manager; That's the dead body you requested. Its in your office. Families there too
Benificiaries; Well, here he is as requested.
Adjustor; (cough, cough, gag...ugh) (teary eyed) ARE YOU PEOPLE CRAZY?
Benificiaries; You said bring um up...where's our Money?
Adjustor; Ok,...i'll get your check,...just get um outta here.
Benificiaries; NOPE, He's your problem now. Give me that check!
Adjustor; (cough, GAG...ugh)
Benificiaries; Next time you'll believe me..; )