Forum Advice

robliano · 07-20-2008, 03:42 PM

I have been reading some older threads to catch up and get more acquainted and I noticed a commonality throughout several posts.

Many people get offended, or offended others. Some intentionally, some not.
I of course was one of those who fell into both groups until I gained understanding and insight into myself and how things work on the forum.

I think these are some issues:

First, you can't read into text, you don't know the emotion behind it unless there's an LOL attached. And after getting offended, you possibly can't tell if someone is still joking or now being serious in their effort to help in ensuing posts.

Also, the forum is a click of sorts, many people know each other for a long while and can kid around, tease and lash out like a family would. Like throwing a bowl of pasta at your head.

The problem there is that when a newbie comes along and expects a different environment, and then gets hit over the head by the banter (pasta), even though the good advice and years of knowledge is posted, they don't absorb it because it can seem like they're being hazed, ridiculed or dismissed.

I saw a "thin skin" reference like 7 or 8 times. We all have to take responsibility for our actions, if we offend someone, we did it, it's not that they are thin skinned, it's that maybe we hit a nerve, and we need to assume fault, not pass blame.

We're all here to have a community, people who understand what we go through, to help each other grow and thrive, stay educated, share war stories, share the "can you believe that customer" accounts and just keep each other encouraged.

So let's get out of our own way and rock this!!!!!

I hope I didn't offend anyone, LOL!!

padthaiforlunch · 07-20-2008, 04:07 PM

[Insert ridicule here.]

LOL

Bob_The_Insurance_Guy · 07-20-2008, 04:07 PM

See, sensitivity from someone from Jersey.

robliano · 07-20-2008, 04:10 PM

I'm from New York, Long Beach, not Long Branch, LOL!!!

Winter · 07-20-2008, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by robliano

We all have to take responsibility for our actions, if we offend someone, we did it, it's not that they are thin skinned, it's that maybe we hit a nerve, and we need to assume fault, not pass blame.

You might listen to Dr. Laura a little more and Dr. Phil Kleenex a little less. Man you are thin skinned. Whats up with all of the heavy analysis. We are just a group of zambonis here sharing some professional information and horsing around a little too. No one ended out on a heart-lung machine or anything. Sounds to me like you are easily disabled or knocked off balance if you are misunderstood. Get over it. You are not that important. We are not that important.

Winter

seadevil · 07-20-2008, 05:56 PM

Before I started posting on this site, I read quite a few post, probably more than half trying to get some insight into the business. I noticed real quick that this site is not for the "thin skinned". At first I was kind of surprised, but as I continued to read I noticed that it did have a little bit of locker room mentality. Pretty much everyone is fair game and newbies (such as myself) have a big target. So be it.

I figure I stay around for a while though, it doesn't bother me and I figure, hell I can dish it out also if I want.

djs · 07-20-2008, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by robliano

I'm from New York, Long Beach, not Long Branch, LOL!!!

Testy, testy.... after all, isn't Long Beach just eastern New Jersey?

Besides, I'm from New Jersey.

healthagent · 07-20-2008, 06:14 PM

...at least they still pump your gas in Jersey

Winter · 07-20-2008, 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seadevil

Before I started posting on this site, I read quite a few post, probably more than half trying to get some insight into the business. I noticed real quick that this site is not for the "thin skinned". At first I was kind of surprised, but as I continued to read I noticed that it did have a little bit of locker room mentality. Pretty much everyone is fair game and newbies (such as myself) have a big target. So be it.

I figure I stay around for a while though, it doesn't bother me and I figure, hell I can dish it out also if I want.

If you had older brothers you wont even notice most of it

Winter

robliano · 07-20-2008, 06:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Winter

You might listen to Dr. Laura a little more and Dr. Phil Kleenex a little less. Man you are thin skinned. Whats up with all of the heavy analysis. We are just a group of zambonis here sharing some professional information and horsing around a little too. No one ended out on a heart-lung machine or anything. Sounds to me like you are easily disabled or knocked off balance if you are misunderstood. Get over it. You are not that important. We are not that important.

Winter

Try reading the post knucklehead.

Also, the forum is a click of sorts, many people know each other for a long while and can kid around, tease and lash out like a family would. Like throwing a bowl of pasta at your head.

So let's get out of our own way and rock this!!!!!

robliano · 07-20-2008, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by djs

Testy, testy.... after all, isn't Long Beach just eastern New Jersey?

Besides, I'm from New Jersey.

Yes, but obviously you left.

xrac · 07-20-2008, 07:48 PM

One thing I have learned on this forum is tread certain places at your own risk. I have been accused of being racist among other things. Maybe we need a add a disclaimer to the forum like the one on topgunproducers:

"Disclaimer: Enter at your own risk. Please fasten your safetybelt. Keep all limbs inside the vehicle. No passing at intersections. We can't drive 55. Always wear deodorant. Please return your seatbacks and tray tables to their upright position. In case of a water landing, I hope you can swim. Don't play with matches. Just say no to drugs (except beer and whiskey). Objects in mirror may appear smaller. Take a deep breath. Don't spill the beans. This is a non-smoking forum. Please carry concealed. There's nothing less useful than an unloaded weapon. Aim at center mass for best results. Please back up your software. Avoid sticking sharp objects in your eye. Do not swallow. If you feel faint, dial 911. This forum is not guaranteed, warranteed, or promises anything other than what you didn't expect. Your mileage may vary. Tie your shoes. Buckle your belt. Floors are slippery when wet. There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch. Flammable. Potentially combustible. Do not enter without prior authorization. Sign here. Thank you."

robliano · 07-20-2008, 08:20 PM

Maybe some people should have taken the time to read the rules for this forum, and to enforce them as well.

Censoring

As a general rule, we do not censor our posters. However, slander will not be tolerated and the offending posts may be removed and your account terminated.

Be positive

Try to be positive. It is much easier to learn and extract or give value to the forum through positive interactions between members. We reserve the right to terminate anyone's account if they are providing nothing but negativity.

bluemarlin08 · 07-20-2008, 08:56 PM

Rob, in the spirit of truth, how can anyone control how someone else is going to interpret things or get offended. This business is one that is filled with rejection and being offended. I get offended when someone doesn't return my call, I shouldn't but I still do. Becoming offended is a choice one makes. I am still thin skinned in some areas but have learned to handle much better than I did when I came to this business in 1980. I still hate cold calls and don't take rejection very well and do anything to avoid it, oops ending in a preposition again. Just my opinion, not trying to offend anyone.

robliano · 07-20-2008, 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluemarlin08

Rob, in the spirit of truth, how can anyone control how someone else is going to interpret things or get offended. This business is one that is filled with rejection and being offended. I get offended when someone doesn't return my call, I shouldn't but I still do. Becoming offended is a choice one makes. I am still thin skinned in some areas but have learned to handle much better than I did when I came to this business in 1980. I still hate cold calls and don't take rejection very well and do anything to avoid it, oops ending in a preposition again. Just my opinion, not trying to offend anyone.

I agree, and I wasn't singling any one out and I admit I've been guilty as well, just a wanted to give newbies a heads up.

No worries buddy!!

somarco · 07-20-2008, 09:53 PM

Quote:

I get offended when someone doesn't return my call, I shouldn't but I still do.

That reminds me . . . I think I owe you a call . . .

Seriously, I feel your pain. I think something would be wrong with you if you didn't feel . . . something.

I have worked with guys before who said they THRIVED on rejection.

Sounds like a sick, masochist to me.

One guy even told me when someone hung up on him, or refused to take his call, or refused to buy that was just something to fire him up and make him even more determined to sell the guy. He would become . . . an insurance stalker.

It wouldn't surprise me a bit if some of his prospects got TRO's to protect themselves.

That guy was really sick.

But someone put him in charge of training agents. Fortunately, I was not one of his trainees.

robliano · 07-20-2008, 10:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by somarco

That reminds me . . . I think I owe you a call . . .

Seriously, I feel your pain. I think something would be wrong with you if you didn't feel . . . something.

I have worked with guys before who said they THRIVED on rejection.

Sounds like a sick, masochist to me.

One guy even told me when someone hung up on him, or refused to take his call, or refused to buy that was just something to fire him up and make him even more determined to sell the guy. He would become . . . an insurance stalker.

It wouldn't surprise me a bit if some of his prospects got TRO's to protect themselves.

That guy was really sick.

But someone put him in charge of training agents. Fortunately, I was not one of his trainees.

Another perspective and a good point.