What Do You Think of This?

Mark

Guru
5000 Post Club
7,924
Georgia
I just got done making this and I'm not finish with it, but what do you think of this concept or idea? I know there is some kind of grammer issue somewhere. I will change it at least 100 times before I use it, but what do you think of the concept?

People spend more time planning their vacation then their own deaths.

My wife and I are going on vacation soon for the summer. My wife has been planning it for weeks and spent a lot of time on it. Have you ever notice that people can spend weeks planning a 2 to 5 day vacation? My wife tells me that there is just so much to plan and you don’t want to get where you are going and not have the things you need and we might forget something important.

I have to ask which is more important, planning for a vacation or planning for your death and what is going to happen to your family? I believe that most people spend more time planning their vacation, then their own death. Just stop and think about it.

Have you made enough plans for your death? Does your family know where to bury you at? Do they know who you want to be your 6 pallbearers? Do they know if you are on life support what you would want to happen? What kind of plans have you made for you death? Are you planning your death or just letting your family worry about everything?

Stop and think about on your last vacation how much planning went into it. If something happens to you right now, is your family ready?

Let me help you protect your family at their worst time. Let me come out and visit with you and help you plan your death and protect your family.

When I leave everything will be taken care of and your family will be protected. Your family will know what you would have wanted and will get the protection that they need.

Do you want to be remembered as the guy that planned for his funeral and took care of his family or the guy that spent more time planning a vacation then planning his own death?
 
Nope, I just typed this up. I've seen it on tv and in ads about clients spending more time planning a vacation then on planning their own death.

Now, I'm trying to make a client piece from the idea. I think it is a great concept and I want to go with it. I just need some help with it. What should I add to it or what should I not say?
 
I like the concept. Sometimes you've got to hit them right between the eyes!

You might want to edit it for correct grammar though. Example:

"Does your family know where to bury you at?"

Sentences never end with a preposition.

Does your family know where to bury you?
 
From the first "tag" line - I'm not quite certain that's a grabber - does anyone PLAN their death? I'm thinking....a replacement phrase?
 
Mark should win an award for all he does to help agents market themselves.

You 'da man Mark!

Tom
 
I rather get this piece fixed and able to send out soon.
Everyone is getting ready to go on vacation with school letting out and now would be the time to mail it.

Is there anything that you guys would add to it.

Bill, what would you use instead to grab them?

Moonlight, thanks for the grammer help. I try and work on the concept and worry about grammer last. I sometimes loose my train of thought when I stop and work on spelling or grammer. That is my weakness.
 
Moonlight...that reminds me of an old joke.

A southerner went to New York and asked a local, "Do you know where the Empire State Building is at?" The local said, "You ***, you never end a sentence with a preposition". The southerner replied, "Fine, Where's the empire state building at, a$$hole!"

Oh the jokes of high school :)
 
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