Really? They don't like it when an insurance agent insinuates himself between the funeral director and the family?...You would be certain that I wouldn't like it. A stream of high volume profanity followed by the slamming of the front door of the funeral home would cause a sonic boom resulting in a seismic event that would initiate the sliding of most of the state of California into the Pacific Ocean...Unless you're primary on the decedent's living will, you don't have the right to any of their info, including their funeral arrangements. It's a violation of the privacy statutes...Why not write a genuine pre-need, if you really want to serve the family?
Funeral home owners must be a different breed out west. Around here, they are very cooperative with the Independent agent. They have always notified me of a claim, assisted with death certificates, etc. The ones that sell only preneed will even refer clients that are in need of a FE plan to me.